Intervention
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: Sonic, Tails, and Shadow give Eggman an intervention on his eating habits. R/R


Eggman was waiting for his table at the grand opening of Waffle House. This was a big deal for him; waffles and houses were probably the greatest combination since Twinkies and Jell-o, his latest gustatory creation. If Eggman had a tail, it would be wagging wildly.

The tables were already full, but Eggman had everything he needed for the wait: a bottle of water (with Skittles floating in it for flavor), a handheld video game, a cell phone (in case the robots had an emergency- or the grand prize Lady Gaga song came on the radio), a bag of snacks, a bag of backup snacks, and his wallet. Eggman munched on a few chips as he waited for his table and the hot, fluffy greatness.

Finally, it was Eggman's turn take a seat. As he lowered himself down, the chair suddenly began to sink. And it wasn't because he was fat.

"AHHHHHHH! What's HAPPENING?"

The chair whisked him down a passageway and into a super-secret basement under the restaurant. It came to a stop in a dark room, where Sonic, Tails, and Shadow were sitting in a circle. They all had serious looks on their faces.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Hiya, Eggman!" said Sonic.

"I want my waffle goodness!"

"Does this look like a waffle house to you?" spat Shadow.

"You took me away from my waffle goodness!"

"Sorry about that, Eggman…this is kind of more important than waffles…" said Tails weakly.

"Is this some kind of intervention or something?"

"Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag…" admitted Sonic.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…"said Tails.

Shadow looked impatient. "We can't back out now; we got the guy all the way over here."

"Hey, I'm not fat!"

"I would have used the term 'obese'," said Tails.

"Since that's _so _much more polite," Shadow added sarcastically.

"Perhaps 'lardosaurus' is the word you're looking for," said Sonic.

"Hey! Look right here, hedgehog-"

"Let's get this intervention over with," said Shadow, annoyed and wondering why he was even put into this story.

"Yeah, so you can go back to being all emo and saying 'Maria' over and over again," said Sonic. "By the way, Rouge says she wants her eyeliner back."

"Sonic, we're not here to tease Shadow," said Tails.

"Right. We're here to talk about Eggman's eating habits." Sonic was getting back on track.

"My eating habits?"

"Yeah, yesterday I saw you roll a stick of butter around in the sugar bowl and eat it," said Sonic.

"I did no such thing!" Eggman lied. His mouth began to water.

"And that same day, I saw you drink a bottle of olive oil," said Tails.

"Hey, I put croutons in it before I drank it to absorb all the fat!"

"Like that makes it any better," said Shadow.

"And I once saw you dip snickers in mayo and then eat them!" said Sonic, remembering the horror.

"Like you've never tried it."

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Actually, most people do M&Ms."

"And you ate eight deep fried Twinkies in a row," said Tails.

"Then you ate this really big sandwich with tic-tacs on it and two pieces of chicken," added Sonic.

"Are we here just to name stuff I might have eaten?" asked Eggman, annoyed.

"Well, no….You see…Eggman, we really do care about you," Sonic started.

"_Right,_" said Eggman, annoyed.

"Just let me finish! We really want you to make it into all the next videogames."

"Why?"

"Because….because…you're the best enemy for me ever, and if you have a heart attack and die, the videogames will totally suck!" A tear rolled down Sonic's face.

"I'm not going to have a heart attack!" screamed Eggman.

"_Sure_ you're not," retorted Shadow.

"Well, if you made smarter choices like eating better, and walked instead riding that Egg Carrier everywhere, you would be in better shape," said Tails.

"Hey, you ride a plane around!"

"Shut up! Tails looks cute in his plane!" cried Sonic. Everyone stared at him.

"And _you_ rode a motorcycle in that Shadow the Hedgehog game," said Eggman, looking at Shadow accusingly.

"Well, Shadow just had a mid-life crisis. Don't change the subject, Eggman. We are here to talk about you and your problem," said Sonic.

"Mid-life _crisis_?" interrupted Shadow, giving Sonic the death look.

"I don't have a problem!" screamed Eggman. But the others weren't paying attention; Shadow had gone in for the kill and was about to tear Sonic's blue head off.

"Admitting you have a problem is the first step," said Tails. Sonic and Shadow continued fighting.

"I don't have a problem!" The two hedgehogs were still at it.

"That's denial," said Tails.

"Look right here, fox boy-" but Eggman didn't finish. He had a heart attack.

**A/N**

**As you can tell I have a bad habit of calling Eggman fat in every story I write. Let's hope he never discovers fanfiction. I probably should update my Tourist story and my Stanford story, but I didn't feel like it, so I wrote this odd ball. Oh, and I made a cameo appearance in KaoruTheRandomBookworm's New Girl in Town story in chapter eight. If you good check it out just skip to chapter eight, because the story doesn't get good tell I come in. If you review her story tell her Carm is a million times better then Kaoru, and she so would have won that stupid baking contest if Ash didn't show up. Ah, who am I kidding yall people ain't gonna do that. **

**DON'T JUST FAV AND RUN REVIEW and tell my awesome editor/sister, Nicole hi. **

**KLSDnv089-7u J ()*ue09 8-6-7-5-3-0-9999 **

**-Nicole**


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